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| Hollwood sucks; and so do you | |
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| Topic Started: Feb 5 2008, 09:09 AM (132 Views) | |
| Post #1 Feb 5 2008, 09:09 AM | The JackaL |
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Well, it's that time again. Whether it's your fault or not, and it is, the top movies at the box office once again stifle my ability to speak without a good amount of rage spewing forth. Box Office numbers #5 Rambo #4 Meet the Spartans #3 27 Dresses #2 The Eye and yes, the very best of the best at #1 Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert Tour Holy baby fetuses. We got a line of winners here. Mind you, I like a guilty pleasure as much as the next guy, or the guy after him, so Ill let Rambo slide, however the next 3 movies pretty much sums up why I hate everyone everywhere. Meet the Spartans: The love child from morons with a camera and a non-sense of humor: Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer. The groundbreaking filmmakers behind Date movie and Epic Movie. You remember those right? because if you do, shame on you. Those movies arn't even worth remembering let alone even being in the general vicinity of. As far as 27 dresses, a sappy love story that's the wedding planner with a different cast. The eye? If jessica alba is in it, chances are it's not very good. Oop, looks like it's not very good and I know what you're thinking "well if only she was topless." No, not even then. That wouldn't even make up for being a terrible actress. Offense. Don't even get me started with hannah mon fucking tana. It makes me shed a tear that Paul Thomas Anderson's "There Will be Blood" is at #10. Since that movie is actually good, you would think it would be higher up, but I forgot that everybody is an idiot. So that hinders most things that are nice. So as far as good movies go, they are scarce, which might actually be a good thing. If every movie were actually good, there probably would be too much competition to become a filmmaker. At least ive got a bar raised pretty low. Thanks hollywood! *If you were offended by the previous article, take a moment to hang thynself* Edited by The JackaL, Feb 5 2008, 09:12 AM.
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| Post #2 Feb 5 2008, 02:19 PM | megalomaniac |
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It's because moviegoers are mainly children. Stupid, idiotic, moron-babies who, bafflingly, find the unfunny, funny. I can't explain it. Perhaps it's the high levels of morphine in mom's bloodstream because she can't handle the retarded teenagers thesedays. Unfortunately for her, she was pregnant at the time and the morphine created a retard spawn of her own. Lucky her. Or, I could be wrong. Perhaps it's some sort of airborne dementia virus going around and turning our youths' brains into warm liquid goo. To quote Lewis Black, "It's as if [they] fell asleep on a nuclear reactor and [their] brains had melted, and [they] are now nothing more than meat with eyes." Shame on you ғᴜᴄᴋing kids. Edited by megalomaniac, Apr 17 2008, 09:32 PM.
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